The Media Morgue

All right, after this I'll be all nice and caught up. Thank god.

Sunday: Mulan

This is probably one of my favorite Disney movies. I'm a sucker for an action heroine, especially when she can pull of the androgynous look.

Monday: Annie Hall

I've never seen a Woody Allen movie before so this was a real treat. He sometimes got a little cutesy on me but I have to say that Allen has a sense of humor that I can really appreciate. I'm looking forward to seeing more of his movies.

Tuesday: An American Tail: Fievel Goes West

There's some strange interspecies erotica going on in this one with the head bad cat and Fievel's older sister. Watch the movie and tell me I'm wrong.

Wednesday: Pulse

The ending was haunting and really worth the movie but it moved very slowly for me. I have no interest in seeing the American remake.

Thursday: Holiday in the Sun

All this movie made me want to do is go somewhere tropical. And avoid the Olsen twins while I'm there. Their tweeniness drove me crazy.

Friday: Silent Running

Environmental, hippie trip about a douchebag that killed his coworkers to save the last rainforest and then was too stupid to realize that trees need sunlight to live. Seriously.

Saturday: Foul Play

I adore Goldie Hawn and her precious little chipmunk face. And this movie was hilarious and actually a pretty good action flick with Chevy Chase doing a credible turn as a romantic lead. Yeah, I'm shocked too.

Sunday: Wedding Daze

This movie was really funny, no lie. I thought that it would be stupid and it was but it worked somehow. Maybe I was just in the right mood.

Monday: The Thief of Bagdad

Now this is why I watched all of these movies. For awesome shit like this. Unlike that endless silent version of the story, this movie was exciting and action-packed.

Tuesday: Domino

I have a sinking suspicion that nothing in this movie resembles the real story of Domino Harvey. However the movie is still cool and I guess I don't care much beyond that.

Wednesday: Bad Seed

That kid was so obnoxious. I mean, I know she was a murderer and that's worse but the little bitch got on my last nerve with all that kissy-huggy stuff.

Thursday: Red Planet Mars

World peace was achieved through Christianity. Which the Martians taught us. That's the plot of this movie. Now you don't have to see it.

Friday: Ninja Assassin

I thought this movie was going to be so kickass and it was so disappointing. The dialogue wasn't even bad enough to be funny and the fight scenes were neat, I guess, but nothing I haven't seen before.

Saturday: Tron

Tron does not age well. It's still a good movie but the technobabble is just laughable today. It just makes me want to watch ReBoot again. Does anybody else remember that show?

If you've never seen this Shortpacked! comic, you've lived an empty life. The best part of it is that it's so true.

Yeah, I got way behind in my movies these past two months. I'm mostly caught up now (and boy was that fun). So I'll catch myself up here in two posts of two weeks with one-line summaries so that it's not overwhelming. Oh, and did you guys notice the terrible joke I made about Patrick Swayze last time? I totally forgot that he had died this year. Ouch. I'm a whore.

Sunday: The Mission

The music was too overpowering for me. It was way more dramatic than the story, which was fine but nothing extraordinary.

Monday: Cabaret

God, Liza Minnelli is exhausting. I mean, she's a great performer but can you imagine trying to live with that? It would drive me batty.

Tuesday: The Maltese Falcon

This movie is incredible. I wanted to watch it three more times these past few weeks and had to stop myself. Bogart is a cool operator.

Wednesday: Hercules

The mythology in this is crazy if you know Greek mythology. But I actually really like the songs and the animation style.

Thursday: Peter Pan

Peter Pan is a dick. Seriously. He kidnaps children and bullies them into fighting adult pirates. It's obscene. And Tink is a bitch.

Friday: The Little Mermaid

I know the underlying message of this can be gross (give up your voice for legs to spread for your man) but I love The Little Mermaid.

Saturday: The Postman Always Rings Twice

Lana Turner is so amazing with that platinum hair and that scrunchy upset face she uses. And while this movie is absurd, I love it.

Sunday: The Bad and the Beautiful

It's weird to watch movies with the parents of famous contemporary actors in it. It's so disorienting. Kirk Douglas was good though.

Monday: The Fisher King

You see Robin Williams naked in this movie. Man, if I wasn't gay before, you know? This is a weird movie for Gilliam. So happy.

Tuesday: Bambi

Older Disney movies didn't have much plot, I realized. I mean the movie is basically Bambi is born, his mother dies, he gets a girl.

Wednesday: Care Bears II: A New Generation

This movie makes no sense. Everyone knows that the Care Bears and the Care Bear Cousins didn't meet until they were adults. Duh.

Thursday: New Moon

Oh man. I am now officially Team Alice because at least Bella seems to genuinely like her. And put your shirt on, Jacob, you show-off.

Friday: Alice Doesn't Live Here Anymore

Flo is a magnificent woman. I'm so serious. I adore her and her filthy nonsensical sayings. How did they make a show out of this?

Saturday: Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs

Again, very little plot. It's mostly a series of skits. I don't really think that it ages well, honestly, except as a benchmark.

Christ, why did I let myself get so far behind? Now here's a link to my newest obsession, the List of Bests, a perfect place for obsessive list-making.

I'm getting so lazy about posting and I only have a month and a half to go.  Christ.

Sunday:  Drag Me to Hell

I saw the unrated version and it makes me curious about what was cut for the theatrical release.  Honestly I really enjoyed this movie, far more than anything that Raimi has done in the past few years, but I'm disappointed that the best parts of this movie were retreads of shit he did better decades ago.  Ignore me.  I'm an fan.  We're almost always bitchy about the things that we love.

Monday:  Grosse Pointe Blank

I'm in love with the concept of extraordinary people treating their bizarre jobs like they're commonplace so I was already pleasantly disposed towards this movie.  The best character was Dan Aykroyd as a jovial hitman looking to move up in the world at any cost.

Tuesday:  Rebel Without a Cause

This movie contains three actors that died tragically young, which is a shitty record no matter how you look at it.  Of course James Dean is usually considered the biggest loss, given how young he was, how little he'd done, and how talented he seemed to be.  And he was great in this movie, don't get me wrong, the man had charisma.  However I'm more sad about Natalie Wood because I think that she was mesmerizing.  She had this, I don't want to say aura because that's overdone, but she had this presence that made her so much more interesting than her looks alone would have inspired.  The movie's good too.

Wednesday:  The Ice Pirates

This is not a good movie but it is a fun movie.  If you've ever wanted to see great actors like Ron Perlman and Angelica Huston prance about in a B-movie about space pirates that save the day, then this is probably your only option.

Thursday:  The Devil's Backbone

Guillermo del Toro does amazing work and this movie is absolutely stellar.  Pan Labyrinth is more stylized but the stark realism in this movie mixed with the vengeful ghost (the effects on that thing) allows The Devil's Backbone to stand proudly next to anything else that del Toro might do.

Friday:  Corpse Bride

I actually liked this movie way more this second time versus when I saw it theaters.  The musical numbers are still pretty lackluster and it's way short for a full-length film, but the love triangle is touching.  Plus I'm a bit in love with stop-motion effects.

Saturday:  Point Break

Point Break is simultaneously the best movie about a surfing undercover agent (as played by Keanu Reeves) and the worst movie about a surfing undercover agent (as played by Keanu Reeves).  Reeves tries his damnedest to look upset throughout the movie but is thwarted by the fact that he is incapable of feeling sadness or anger.  Gary Busey plays himself if he was even remotely charming.  Patrick Swayze does whatever he does that makes people decide to keep putting him in movies.  And Lori Petty, the divine and sublime Lori Petty, is too damn good for this piece of shit movie.  Oh, and Dr. Cox is in this.  It's awesome.

Now here's a link to Item Not As Described, a blog about terrible ads.  It's fairly fantastic.

 

Thank the FSM that Horror Month is over.  A month of hit-or-miss in one genre is hard for even the most ardent fan to take.  Plus I'm getting tired of seeing pretty, skinny blondes getting axed in the face.

Sunday:  The Other

This was based off of the Thomas Tryon book of the same name.  He wrote the screenplay, if I remember correctly, and I think that it helped keep at leas the mood true to the book.  The book is better but I honestly think that we're all tired of hearing that about every damn book-to-movie adaptation.

Monday:  My Little Pony: The Movie

What?  You don't think this shit is scary?  Imagine, if you even can, that you are an adorable Little Pony (I bet you would be Shady, you complaining bastard) and your beautiful Dream Castle is being overrun by sludge created by witches that hate you.  If you don't think that that qualifies as horror, I don't want to know what kind of life you must lead.

Tuesday:  The House Bunny

What?  You don't think this shit is--okay, I can't do that for this one.  I just wanted to see Anna Faris naked and maybe indulge in my fantasy that Emma Stone and I are secretly dating and she's directing all of her growly-voiced statements right to me.  I needed a break, you guys.

Wednesday:  Return to House on Haunted Hill

This sequel makes the original (remake) look like it was written by Clive Barker while channeling the spirit of Lovecraft and then filmed by Sam Raimi and Wes Craven.  This movie sucks so hard that I feel like my brain is purposefully trying to forget every moment of it but can't because it was just that terrible.  I can't even have trauma-induced amnesia.

Thursday:  The Orphanage

Oh, this was good.  I feel like I should have a party for the first genuinely ace movie that I watched this week.  The atmosphere in this movie was incredible and I am very eager to see more from this director.

Friday:  Strange Behavior

Um, okay, maybe this movie caused trauma-induced amnesia because I don't remember very much of it.  There was this slasher and he killed a bunch of people.  I think that one guy got a pick through his brain.  I don't know.  

Saturday:  Misery

Amazing.  Just amazing.  Kathy Bates is probably one of the best actresses in the business.  The way that she could go from a sweet, motherly nurse (with some creepy undertones in all of her statements) to a psychotic bitch-monster in under a second, all without making you think that she was over-the-top or implausible, was just fantastic.  I love this movie (but the book was better).

Now here's a video of a guy playing a horrible ROM hack of Super Mario Brothers.  He gets so frustrated that it becomes hilarious.  I don't normally warn for swearing because I swear like a sailor but this guy says fuck after basically every word.  So be warned.

Yeah, I totally forgot to post last Sunday and since then have kept forgetting with the the tenacity of a pitbull.  Oops.

Sunday:  Severance

I had heard good things about this movie for a couple of years but now that I've seen it, I don't know what the big deal is supposed to be.  It's pretty standard.  I mean, it's more self-aware than most horror movies and it's funny in parts, but it also doesn't make much sense.  I'm really a bit on the fence about it.

Monday:  Shrooms

I could brag and say that I saw the ending coming, but that's not saying much and also I knew the twist going into the movie.  Everybody keeps comparing the movie to High Tension but I think that's crap.  High Tension is magnificently nonsensical and vaguely offensive while Shrooms doesn't fuck around very much.  What's going on becomes pretty obvious in retrospect.  

Tuesday:  Organizm

Ah shit, here we go now.  This is a Sci-Fi (excuse me, SyFy) Channel original movie, which I didn't know when I started, and it is just terrible.  I don't even understand how their special effects can be so awful.  I'm pretty sure I could do better with some construction paper and glitter.

Wednesday:  Maniac Cop 2

I've never seen Maniac Cop 1 but it had Bruce Campbell in it so now I probably will.  The sequel here was recommended to me by Fangoria's 101 Best Horror Movies You've Never Seen (it also recommended all of the Troma pictures I've been watching).  I'll admit, some of the scenes were pretty awesome (I don't think I've ever seen a woman try to steer a car downhill while on the outside of the car and attached to the steering wheel with handcuffs) and the relationship between the talkative serial killer and the killer cop was unique.  Not bad.

Thursday:  Christmas Evil

Now I've seen my fair share of Christmas-themed horror movies (Black Christmas is the best) but I have never seen one as bad as this.  I'll be honest, reader, I used fast-forward on the PS3, which moves at 1.5 the normal rate.  This is normally enough to make everybody's dialogue hilariously rushed (but understandable) and their movements super-jerky.  Not this piece of crap.  At 1.5 the normal speed the dialogue sounds perfectly normal and the main character still moves so slow that I thought that it might be a plot point.  It wasn't.  In the end he drives his Santa Van off of a bridge and flies into the night sky.  I am not joking.

Friday:  The Changeling

The only truly good movie I saw this week.  Changeling has beautiful cinematography (the house is both gorgeous and ominous in every shot) and the plot, while slow, is touching even when it's horrifying.  

Saturday:  Def by Temptation

I enjoyed this movie far more than I probably should have because it is undeniably funky and while I myself am not jive in any capacity, I do appreciate it in others.  Plus Temptation was a stone-cold fox and the main character gets points for not being a huge moron about her.

All right, I'm still trying to decide what movie to watch on Halloween (I'm stuck between the original Halloween, Poltergeist, or Misery).  While I ponder my dilemma, here's a link to my new favorite blog, E-Mails From Crazy People.  People so crazy.

Now this is what I'm talking about!  Horror month got a rousing kick in the ass this week with some gut-busting (literally) splatstick and the proper amount of gore (buckets).

Sunday:  Carrie

Here's a classic I've never seen before.  Although honestly I feel like I've seen just about every iconic scene in this movie, from the shower bit at the beginning to the big surprise at the end.  It's a great movie, suspenseful and occasionally touching, with some great acting from Sissy Spacek.  The acting from John Travolta is less admirable but the poor boy tries his best.

Monday:  From Beyond

I'm pretty sure that Lovecraft would never have envisioned that one of his works would be adapted into something so kinky, but he probably wouldn't have thought that the black character would be the smartest, best guy in the whole damn thing either (that racist master of the macabre).  He would have been shocked on both counts.  This movie is pretty damn kinky and it falls apart after Bubba dies (BUBBA!).  He gave his life so that less interesting people could live. 

Tuesday:  Zombieland

Awesome.  It's a pure balls-to-the-wall adrenaline-fest from beginning to end.  And it's hilarious.  Tallahassee brought new meaning (and a new picture) to the term Crazy Awesome.  Honestly the apocalypse has never looked like so much fun.

Wednesday:  Fido

Once again I am reminded that the only thing I love more than horror is horror mixed liberally with ridiculous comedy.  This is a movie about keeping a zombie as a pet and it is both hilarious and touching in a completely gross way (no matter how you dress it up, buddy, it's still necrophilia).  

Thursday:  The Blob

This is the second remake of the 50s classic.  The Blob (which I've heard people find impossible to move despite their best efforts) has gotten a face-lift and some ninja skills but it's still a giant pink glob of man-destroying goo.  Except this time it melts people and is fantastically disgusting.

Friday:  P2

I didn't think that I was going to like this movie very much.  It looked like a standard slasher (menacing jackass hunts down a pretty, bland blonde woman until she kills his ass) but I was pleasantly surprised.  The main character is pretty and blonde but she wasn't bland.  However what I really liked was that instead of the killer being a ginormous Jason rip-off, he was a much more unnerving Nice Guy.  This made the movie more unsettling for me than it would have been otherwise because it's way more true-to-life.

Saturday:  Teeth

I'm surprised that this movie has garnered so much controversy even among horror fans.  Is it sexist?  Well, it's a parody so I don't think it's as bad as people are making it out to be.  All the men in the movie are either rapists or weak but that's part of what makes it so ridiculous.  The end is a perfect example of how absurd and over-the-top this movie is supposed to be.  Is it distasteful?  Yeah, it really is.  But I did find it funny.  YMMV.

Now I have to show you the best video I've seen all week.  It's a musical remix of a William Shatner speech and it is epic.  By the end of it you will know why Captain Kirk was climbing a mountain.  ***Spoiler alert*** It was to make love to that mountain.

I went idly searching for Glee fanfic after seeing a whole bunch of the show all at once and I'm amazed at how much of it is Puck-centric.  Is it the fauxhawk?  I mean, I think he's a cool guy but I want see a little bit more epic Rachel/Quinn hateshipping going on.  Come on, people, we all know they don't really want Finn.  He's like a giant piece of cardboard.

Sunday:  I Still Know What You Did Last Summer

I love Jennifer Love Hewitt, okay, so when I say that I could barely finish watching this movie, I want that to tell you how terrible it was.  Also, why wasn't the bartender the fisherman's daughter?  Weren't they leading up to that?  I guess it was fake-out, but then where the hell is his daughter?  I refuse to believe that she's the sole non-psychopathic member of the family.

Monday:  Twilight Zone: The Movie

The best part is the beginning when they're arguing about whether or not something was a Twilight Zone episode or an Outer Limits episode.  Mostly because Outer Limits rocked and I wish that more people had watched it.

Tuesday:  Mother's Day

Ew, Troma movie.  It was actually not that bad for a Troma picture but that's not saying much.  The best movie they ever released was Cannibal: The Musical and that was because of the South Park guys.

Wednesday:  Body Snatchers

This was the only good movie I watched this week.  Honestly.  It wasn't even all that great (I've yet to see a Body Snatchers movie that I really love) but it was suspenseful and well-crafted.  I think that it helped that it dealt with an isolated family and really drove in how scary it would be to not be able to trust even the people that you know the best.

Thursday:  Asylum

I thought for sure that the movie was going to end on a lame twist ending where the Final Girl was actually crazy and committed in the asylum that she was trying to escape but the movie wasn't even clever enough for something that dumb.  What was the point of giving her a crazy father and a crazy brother and a serial killer that preys on your insecurities and then not doing anything with it? 

Friday:  Luther the Geek

The only movie you will ever watch in which the serial killer thinks that he's a chicken and the Final Girl saves herself by clucking at him until he's distracted enough (because he's having a chicken freak-out) that she can kill him.  Also a Troma picture.

Saturday:  Dracula: Pages from a Virgin's Diary

Oh, I lied, this was also pretty good.  Except that it didn't really seem like a movie.  It didn't even really seem like the full ballet.  It was mostly all about the Lucy bits, which I do enjoy from the book, but I thought that it was a weird choice.

Horror month is exhausting.  I'm going to try and watch better horror movies this week, but until then here's The Misadventures of Hello Cthulhu.  The bow in his tentacles is absolutely precious.

I'm dying right now to eat the rest of the ice cream cake I have in my freezer.  I don't know that I'm strong enough to resist it.  It's Midnight Delight.  It has chocolate flakes in chocolate ice cream surrounding by chocolate cake and topped with a thick shell of chocolate chocolate.  I'm in agony.

Sunday:  Das Boot

Yeah, I finally finished the damn thing.  Three hours long.  Completely magnificent.  And then everybody dies in the end.  I mean, they were Nazis so if I go by Indiana Jones logic I should be happy, but it just made me so sad.

Monday:  Bullitt

Steve McQueen plays the original cop that doesn't play by the rules (but by God, he gets results).  I'm a big action movie fan so I enjoyed every minute of this thriller, including of course the iconic car chase.  Amazing.

Tuesday:  A Man for All Seasons

I'm a whore for period pieces.  I've seen Rob Roy probably fifty times (that sword-fighting scene in the end, people, Jesus).  So I was happy when this came up in the queue, especially since I love British period pieces most of all. 

Wednesday:  Heart and Souls

I've been wanting to rewatch this for a long time so I on a whim I decided to see if it was available to watch instantly and because Netflix is my secret lover it was.  Robert Downey Jr. looks so stoned this entire movie.  I don't know if he was heavy into the drug scene at that particular time but he certainly looked like it.  I love this movie though.  It tugs on my black heart.

Thursday:  The Evil Dead

I wanted to kick off the October month of horror with something fantastic so I decided to go with the first in Sam Raimi's Evil Dead trilogy.  I'm a bigger fan of the second movie because it mixes horror and comedy in just the right amount (unlike the third that goes overboard with the comedy), but I have a warm place in my heart for this first one.  Poor Ashley.

Friday:  The Frighteners

I decided to watch The Frighteners on my birthday because it's one of my favorites (shut up).  Michael J. Fox is funny, Peter Jackson doesn't go crazy with the special effects, and the murderous Johnny and Patricia are my favorite horror movie villains.  They're just so in love.  It's terrifying.

Saturday:  Arachnophobia

I guess I don't find spiders very scary because this was a little yawn-inducing.  I think that it was well-done, but the horror is mitigated by the fact that a hammer could solve everybody's problems.  It's like Child's Play.  Just stomp the damn thing.

Now I'm going to go play Marvel Ultimate Alliance 2 in the hopes that it will distract me from that cake.  Oh, and here's a link to a failed wank on Fandom Wank.  When a wank is deemed unfunny (in this case one centering around LAMBDA changing their submission criteria so that straights can't win it), the members post recipes in retaliation.  I'm particularly intrigued by the one for pear ginger quickbread.  Yummy!

I'm having a bad week, you guys.  RL is trying its very hardest to suck.  I can't wait until next month.

Sunday:  Sleepers

There were so many good actors in this movie that it was positively unreal.  That being said I didn't really like this one all that much.  I didn't know how I was supposed to feel about the mobsters or about the movie's final say on justice.  It all left a bad taste in my mouth that wouldn't really bother me (I don't have to agree with a movie's morality in order to like it) except that Sleepers claims to be based on a true story (hint, it probably isn't).

Monday:  Clueless

Emma is my second most favorite Jane Austen (after Northanger Abbey) and I'm a sucker for this contemporary version of the story.  Alicia Silverstone was completely charming and I really wish that Batman and Robin hadn't killed her career.

Tuesday:  All Dogs Go to Heaven

I enjoyed this one much more this time than I did when I was a kid.  I think that's the bad part about Bluth in that you really only appreciate his movies when you're an adult looking back on them.  It's not that they're more sophisticated than Disney movies--they're really not--but they generally have a darker atmosphere and I wasn't into that as a child.

Wednesday:  Ghost Rider.

...I have nothing.  Do I curse fucking Nicholas Cage's name once again?  Do I talk about how spectacularly shitty this movie was?  Do I talk about how spectacularly spectacular Eva's cleavage was?  All of these things won't make me feel better about what I saw.  No, not even the cleavage.  I'm too tired of this shit.

Thursday:  Swingers

Vince Vaughn is so young in this movie.  It's easier to see how he got away with being such a sleaze in the early days because at one point in time he didn't look like somebody's drunken, perverted uncle.

Friday:  FernGully:  The Last Rainforest

I don't why Tim Curry isn't the voice of every villain in every country in the world.  He should be.  And Robin Williams is so much more tolerable when he's an animated bat.  Except when he raps.  That's tragic.

Saturday:  Say Anything

I love, absolutely love, when Joan and John Cusack are in movies together.  I don't know why.  Maybe I love nepotism.  It just always makes me happy.

Now I'm going to look at pictures of cute animals being told their place at Fuck You, Penguin.  I urge you all to do the same.
 

I've decided to write my weekly reviews on Sunday because it's generally a more convenient day for me and also because after almost a year I've decided that it's silly to post a list every Sunday of movies I often end up not watching that week.  So there's that.

Sunday:  Love Actually

My favorite bits were between Liam Neeson and that adorable kid from Nanny McPhee.  Seriously that kid is so cute.  He made my maternal instincts rise up and bitch-slap my ovaries.  That analogy barely makes sense.  He's a cute kid.  Oh, the couple that met on the world's dirtiest classy movie were great too.

Monday:  Parasite Dolls

A fairly mediocre sci-fi anime movie about cops researching murders dealing with androids called Boomers.  It's got a bit of Ghost in the Shell and Blade Runner but with more hooker robots.  The one part I did really like was the design for the Crusher robot.  It looked like if a giant metal dragonfly had a baby with a giant metal grasshopper.

Tuesday:  Kiss of Death

Richard Widmark is clearly the best part of this movie as the unbalanced mobster that giggles like a Batman villain.  Other than that Kiss of Death really dragged on for me.  I mean, obviously I'm biased in the favor of short movies at this point but a great movie can be as long as it wants.  Everything else should pick up the pace.

Wednesday:  The Seven Year Itch

I think that Billy Wilder was actually an angel and he came to us in order to show the world how good movies could be.  I've never seen a movie of his that I haven't instantly loved and having Marilyn Monroe as his baby-voiced, giggling leading lady only cemented the likelihood that this movie would be fantastic.

Thursday:  Zorro, the Gay Blade

This movie just wishes that it was as funny as The Seven Year Itch but I'll admit that I laughed.  The whole camp gay thing is not one of my favorite Hollywood styles of humor (I know, shocking), but the movie is not mean-spirited and, yeah, I thought that it was funny for the most part, although not always in the way the filmmakers probably intended it to be.

Friday:  Lupin the 3rd:  The Castle of Cagliostro

Miyazaki's movies always either make me feel happy (My Neighbor Totoro) or fill me with a vague sense of wonder (Spirited Away).  This movie definitely falls into the first category and is a gorgeous addition to the adventures of my favorite monkey-faced gentleman-thief.

Saturday:  Martian Succesor Nadesico: The Motion Picture: Prince of Darkness

I didn't know that there was a show that preceded this movie until it was too late and I'd watched too much to give it up.  I have no idea what was going on.  They were In Space! and there was a lot of shooting and I don't know.  I think that it would have actually been pretty good if I'd known who any of the characters were or what they were supposed to be doing.  Maybe I'm just dumb.

And because I haven't done it in long time, here's a link to a website celebrating the People of Walmart.  I laughed but I shop at Target so maybe I'm just an elitist bitch.